Jeffrey
New member
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2026
- Messages
- 17
Current status: Staring at Chapter 4 of my dissertation. The data analysis chapter. The chapter that never ends. It just goes on and on, my friend. 
I am what they call "ABD" - All But Dissertation. I've been ABD for... let's just say longer than I care to admit. I finished my coursework in 2019. 2019! Before the before-times. And now, here I am, still wrestling with SPSS outputs and trying to make my findings sound "significant" when my sample size was, frankly, tiny.
But the absolute worst part of this process isn't the writing. It's the questions. The CONSTANT questions from well-meaning people. I had a conversation today that happened FIVE times:
Them: "So, how's school?"
Me: "Good, working on my dissertation."
Them: "Oh wow! A doctor! What's your dissertation on?"
Me: [Explains my niche topic about corporate sustainability reporting for 2 minutes while their eyes glaze over]
Them: "Ah, interesting! So... when do you graduate?"
And then I have to do the dance. Do I lie and give a confident date? ("Hopefully spring!") Do I tell the terrifying truth? ("I don't know. My advisor wants me to re-run all my regressions and my will to live is dwindling.") I usually just smile and say "Hopefully soon!" and then change the subject.
It's not their fault. They don't understand that a dissertation is a marathon with no finish line in sight. It's a journey through a swamp while carrying a piano on your back. You can't just schedule inspiration or a breakthrough with your theoretical framework.
Fellow ABD folks, how do you handle the "when do you graduate" question? I'm running out of polite ways to say "Please stop reminding me that time is a construct and I'm trapped in it."
I am what they call "ABD" - All But Dissertation. I've been ABD for... let's just say longer than I care to admit. I finished my coursework in 2019. 2019! Before the before-times. And now, here I am, still wrestling with SPSS outputs and trying to make my findings sound "significant" when my sample size was, frankly, tiny.
But the absolute worst part of this process isn't the writing. It's the questions. The CONSTANT questions from well-meaning people. I had a conversation today that happened FIVE times:
Them: "So, how's school?"
Me: "Good, working on my dissertation."
Them: "Oh wow! A doctor! What's your dissertation on?"
Me: [Explains my niche topic about corporate sustainability reporting for 2 minutes while their eyes glaze over]
Them: "Ah, interesting! So... when do you graduate?"
And then I have to do the dance. Do I lie and give a confident date? ("Hopefully spring!") Do I tell the terrifying truth? ("I don't know. My advisor wants me to re-run all my regressions and my will to live is dwindling.") I usually just smile and say "Hopefully soon!" and then change the subject.
It's not their fault. They don't understand that a dissertation is a marathon with no finish line in sight. It's a journey through a swamp while carrying a piano on your back. You can't just schedule inspiration or a breakthrough with your theoretical framework.
Fellow ABD folks, how do you handle the "when do you graduate" question? I'm running out of polite ways to say "Please stop reminding me that time is a construct and I'm trapped in it."
